Many believe that stuttering is a problem of speaking. But for many people who stutter, the most disabling and restrictive aspects of the disorder center on avoiding speaking and avoiding stuttering.

For example, an adult who stutters recently described his college experience: "I graduated from college and I knew only two people, and I didn't even know them that well."

It was because "I wouldn't speak," he explained.

Avoiding speaking and stuttering to prevent the social penalty that frequently accompanies stuttering is normal for people who stutter. Recent studies have found that more than 80 percent of adults surveyed avoid speaking situations to avoid the possibility of stuttering. Some people who stutter are able to conceal stuttering so well that they pass as fluent - meaning they pass as normal speakers.

David Mitchell, the famous British novelist, recently wrote an essay detailing his battle with stuttering. Mitchell described using "alphabetical avoidance" in which "you scan sentences ahead for stammer-words and navigate your sentence in such a way that you won't need those words."

This type of stuttering "radar" is mentally grueling and distracts the stutterer from a major component of communication - listening.

Other common avoidance techniques include remaining silent when you want to speak, pretending you do not know the answer when you do and avoiding conversations and social interactions.

Avoidance techniques such as these are learned during childhood and, for many, continue into adulthood. One adult who stutters reported choosing "finance" as a major in college because he feared stuttering on the word "architecture." Such stories may seem bizarre, but are in fact exceedingly common and normal for people who stutter.

Throughout high school and college I concealed my stuttering so well that almost everybody I knew had no idea that I stuttered.

The price I paid was immense.

I never said what I wanted to say and was often silent when I wanted to speak. The absence of noticeable stuttering never tasted good because it was the result of missed opportunities, silence and changing what I wanted to say.

When I was 21 years old I met, for the first time, another person who stutters.

John stuttered very noticeably. He was a writer and was eager to share his work at poetry readings. I will never forget the first time I heard John read.

He stood up in front of a packed audience and began by saying, "I stutter, so you may hear a lot of silent blocking - just consider these blocks to be dramatic pauses."

Everybody laughed. Before reading a single line John had the audience in the palm of his hands.

John launched into his reading while stuttering noticeably and without shame. When finished he did not race off the stage and did not avoid taking questions. Most importantly, John said what he wanted to say when he wanted to say it.

It was around this time that I began working with a speech therapist and attending regular self help meetings for people who stutter.

After years and years of self-imposed silence, I began talking about stuttering and began allowing myself to stutter openly for the first time.

I began using voluntary stuttering every day and continued to do so for more than three years.

In other words, I stuttered on purpose to reduce my fears of speaking and to get my stuttering secret immediately out in the open. I was determined to stop passing as fluent, to say what I wanted to say and to no longer allow the possibility of stuttering to dictate my choices.

Many people who stutter and many professionals assume that the goal of stuttering treatment is to stop stuttering. For me and for many others, trying not to stutter was the problem, not the answer.

For me, it was important to stutter more, not less.

For more information about stuttering, visit the Stuttering Foundation ( www.stutteringhelp.org). To find a self help chapter for people who stutter near you, visit the National Stuttering Association ( www.westutter.org).