CHAPEL HILL -- When Barbara Lininger sets out to visit her daughter for dinner, all she has to do is walk upstairs.

Lininger , 80, lives in a nicely furnished basement apartment in a house with her daughter, son-in-law and two grandkids. Her bills are mostly separate from the rest of the family's, and her apartment has its own kitchen, bathroom and entrance.

"They'll invite me up for Sunday dinner, for example, and I'll say, "What can I bring?'" she said.

This Chapel Hill household is part of a trend of extended-family living arrangements. According to sociologist Sharon Niederhaus, who spoke last month at the Chapel Hill Public Library, more and more American families are squeezing together under one roof, often by adding extensions or refurbishing basements.

The reasons for the increase are many: Healthcare and other living costs are up, and for many boomers, pensions and Social Security can prove inadequate.

"And people are just living longer," said Jan Gerard, a social worker for the Orange County Department on Aging, adding that "living" means "living expenses."

According to Niederhaus' book "Together Again: A Creative Guide to Multigenerational Living," extended-family housing takes careful planning and continued communication.

If seen in terms of the book, the Leninger family arrangement works because it balances privacy and proximity, respect and interdependence.

Leninger lives in her basement apartment, does laundry, and helps watch on the grandkids. In return she has company and safe, affordable housing.

Betsy Baker, 81, is another positive example.

She lives with her daughter, son-in-law and grandchild and said they had to work out the details of the arrangement before the actual move.

"I stay out of the way, but help when needed," Baker said. She used to run a successful textile business in California.

But living together isn't always so peachy. One Chatham County couple, who didn't want their names published, described living with the husband's mother as "tense" and "stressful." They said they had little choice but to move her in after it became clear that she couldn't manage her medications and had no pension or health insurance.


Not for everyone

Niederhaus stresses that intergenerational living is not for everyone. However, for those who embark on it, her book offers suggestions and remodeling options based interviews with people who are making it work.

The book even has a chapter on overcoming the cultural stigma that can accompany making such a decision in the United States, the land of individualism.

Of the 6.4 billion people on the planet, 5.7 billion live in homes with large families.

"It's America that's the anomaly," Niederhaus said.

Chapel Hill may be a little ahead of the national trend due to its climate and proximity to the university and hospital. But it's not just seniors moving in their adult children.

Moving back in with the 'rents is also a trend among college students who find a return home is often the most affordable option after graduation. (The average UNC student graduates with about $17,000 in debt.)

But while Niederhaus and her book preach "it's OK to move back in," it's often a challenge.

Lininger and her daughter have had to adjust their relationship to new circumstances, and there's the occasional tiff in the Baker household.

"It's not that we don't argue," Baker said. "It's just the next day we say, 'OK, what was that about?' "