"The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves, they find their own order ... the continuous thread of revelation." -- Eudora Welty

For years my daughter, Melinda, who loves preserving family memories, encouraged me to write my life story by buying me memory books. The books contained a diagram of one's family history and questions with short, fill-in-the blank answers about your life. While this is the perfect idea for some people, I was never good at filling in the blanks on much of anything.

Then after my dear collie died I thought I might write about "The Dogs I Have Loved." That essay led me to write about other events in my life. The events came in no particular sequence of time, but they were significant to me.

This "continuous thread of revelation" gave me a new perspective on my life as it was therapy as well as legacy. In the process of writing I did not take a memoir writing class or read about how to write memoirs because I did not want to delay the impetus to put it down on paper. A recent death of a friend who left nothing in writing for her family spurred me on, and reminded me of my own mortality.

In writing about my life I wanted to make an attempt to get to the world behind my eyes: to see some of the joys in my life, and to again rejoice in them, but also to see some of the old wounds, witness and learn from them, and then to heal. Writing down some of the experiences of my life and how I felt about them revealed and clarified who I am to myself, and perhaps years from now it might help those who come after me understand their own lives and relationships better.

After writing my life story I have encouraged others, especially older people to write about their lives. I encourage them by saying it is a simple way to figure out who you used to be and how you got to where you are. You don't need to be noteworthy or have had a hard-scrabble youth as did Jeanette Walls in "The Glass Castle," a book about a miserable childhood with eccentric, creative parents. Most of us lead boring lives, but no other life in the world is as unique as the one each of us leads.

Memoir is not a place to appear angelic, or self-serving. It is a place to be profoundly human, and it is about creating a legacy that doesn't have dollar signs in front of it. It's honestly sharing what you think, feel and how you got through life. Most of us make out our wills; have records of our assets, to leave with an attorney. Isn't a record of our life also necessary?

Words on paper confer a kind of immortality. Wouldn't all of us love to have a journal, a memoir, a letter from those we have loved and lost? Shouldn't all of us leave a bit of that behind?

Contact Eunice Brock at eunicembrock@nc.rr.com